Growing up?

So, we've all been told at least once to 'act our age.' Ok, maybe not all of us, but still, I've gotten that many times. My dad didn't like us watching Saturday morning cartoons by the time I was out of middle school because he thought we were too old for that. (Though, in hindsight, it could be because a lot of what came on sucked and I just didn't have anything for comparison at the time. But I'm sticking with the age thing.)

But just because we've joined the 'adult' world, does that mean we have to grow up? Do we really have to give up our toys, stop watching our favorite shows and playing our favorite games because they're not considered grown-up?

Hell no! Any age that takes away your right to stack things for fun is not an age I want to be.

But for those out there that are saying Yes, then why? Why does reaching a magical age determine we have to stop doing things we enjoy? There are some things we grow out of, yes. Our tastes change as we get older and discover new things and new ways to amuse ourselves. But growing up shouldn't mean abandoning everything you enjoyed when you were younger. I shouldn't have to give up playing video games or watching cartoons because I graduated college and got a real life job.

I'm not saying we should hang on to everything from childhood. Childhood grudges, fear of old bullies and sibling rivalries should be left in the past. That kind of baggage can screw you up in your adult life, so if you need help dealing with them, get it. But if you still enjoy building things with Legos, go for it! If you can actually find a cartoon that comes on Saturday morning that is worth watching, watch it! Don't wait to have kids to rediscover playing and using your imagination. Keep it fresh by playing with something you enjoy, and don’t be afraid to imagine. The future is built on imagination, which we learn and keep active by playing. That's not to say you should spend all your time watching cartoons. Adult world brings adult responsibilities, which suck, but to be able to afford the cool toys, you gotta work for it. But once the job is done and you've got free time, as long as you're not doing anything illegal, do whatever makes you happy.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to build a couch fort. They'll have to pry these Tinker Toys from my cold, dead hands!
06/30/11 11:59, by , Categories: dubird.net , Tags: , ,

Guy's Guide to Girl's Magazines

I'm not really a magazine reader myself, but I do page through Yahoo's Shine when I'm bored at work sometimes. It's a site that pulls various articles from multiple magazines online and puts them all in one place. Some are actually pretty good, and some are just so crazy they make me laugh. And I've noticed that the crazy ones almost always come from the same magazines. It got me thinking about what kind of person actually buys these magazines and I realized that you could tell a lot about a girl by what magazines she subscribes to. So, for all you guys out there, here's some insights into your girl based on a few magazine choices.

1. Martha Stewart Living: Your girl likes crafting things, possibly to the point of doing some kind of crafty things herself. Upside: Should be easy to find out what she likes for gifts. Downside: You will find yourself being dragged into DIY projects. Tip: Get a toolbox. And learn how to use a hot glue gun.

2. Wedding magazines: If your girl is in a profession like baking or designing, wedding magazines are good for inspiration. If they're not for her job, chances are that yes, she is looking to settle down. Upside: She's probably got the whole wedding planned out and all you'll need to do is show up in a tux. Downside: It may cost both arms, a leg, and a kidney. Tip: Make sure you plan a romantic proposal.

3. Glamour or Marie Claire: Your girl puts forth a lot of effort to look good. There are probably weekly salon visits, lots of things on her bathroom counter, and a very large closet. Upside: You will probably be wowed every date night because she'll make a serious effort to be sexy. Downside: Said effort takes a very long time. Tip: Bring a book.

4. In Touch Weekly: Your girl loves celebrities and loves gossiping about them. It's ok if you don't know anything about Brad and Angela, she will tell you all about it. In detail. Upside: When these conversations start, you don't have to contribute much. She'll fill in the blanks. Downside: Most of it will be things you don't want to know. Tip: Learn her favorite celebrity couple. You could care less about them, but knowing a few things about them will at least allow you to look like you're paying attention.

5. Shape: Your girl is either into exercise or wants to lose weight. Either way, she's probably got a gym membership or walks a lot. Upside: She'll be more likely to join in physical activities with you. Downside: You will get the 'Do I look fat in this?' question a lot. Tip: The answer is always 'No, you look hot!'

6. Cooking Light or Southern Living: Not much question there, your girl likes to cook. Upside: You will save money and get to eat new things. Downside: Some of those new things are experiments and they won't taste good. Tip: Learn to cook so you can cook with her.

7. Cosmopolitan Your girl thinks she knows all about sex and guys. She doesn't. She may also randomly accuse you of cheating, which can lead to injury. Yours. Upside: She's more likely to want to try new things in the bedroom. Downside: A lot of those things could land you in the emergency room. Tip: Run.
06/23/11 11:58, by , Categories: dubird.net , Tags: , ,

The Force will be with you....for the low price of $99.95!

Finished Force Unleashed 2 last night, and yeah, I was disappointed in it being as short as it was. I needed more lightening deaths, dammit! Still, it was fun and as always, the little voice of my imagination started jabbering at me.

Actually, let me clarify that. I have an active imagination. Active to the point that when I really enjoy a book or show, it comes up with random 'what if' scenarios for me. As in, what if I personally ended up in that situation or place. It's silly but harmless, and tends to keep me entertained on the commute to work. Anything Star Wars makes me wonder what kind of Jedi I would be. The answer? A really crappy one.

Forget about the fact that, while I'm not fat, I'm not really in good shape and even after I manage to bitch-slap my lungs into working right, I'll never be athletic. Or coordinated. Or graceful. Let's face it, I'm lucky I don't stumble down the hallway more often than I do. But lets just assume that I'm in good enough physical shape to be able to take on the challenge of becoming a Jedi. I'd be the kind of person that would throw myself into learning how to use a lightsaber, too. Not because it's elegant or 'civilized' (really, Obi-wan? You're going to go with that?). No, it's because slicing down my enemies with a sword made of pure light is fucking BAD ASS! I'd be quoting more Samuel L. Jackson and Bruce Willis than a internet meme. But that's not the reason.

I just couldn't resist being a smartass for very long.

Seriously. While playing FU2, I kept talking to the game because they characters would just have weird lines that I simply had to bitch at. Plus Starkiller must be going through a second puberty or something, as much as his voice breaks, which led to even more comments. It's probably a good thing I was the only one in the house. But it's not just mouthing off to the game that I'm playing. Jedi just seem to have a giant stick up their asses all the time, and I just couldn't resist the urge to be a sarcastic bitch for too long. Take some random Star Wars quotes:

Darth Vader: Asteroids do not concern me, Admiral. I want that ship, not excuses.
D: You'll want that ship a lot less if we get hit by a fucking asteroid.

Yoda: You must unlearn what you have learned.
D: What, and waste 6 years of college? I still have student loans to pay off!

Obi-Wan: You can't win, but there are alternatives to fighting.
D: I don't think they'll be up for a rousing game of Uno.

Yeah, I know, not exactly award winning comebacks. But you get my drift. After all, what's the point of being a powerful protector of the galaxy and all if you can't have fun while doing it?
06/15/11 11:57, by , Categories: dubird.net , Tags: , , , , ,


FSpoon comes in every night and asks what I want to do for dinner. Sometimes, one of us has a craving or we decided earlier to try this particular restaurant or one of us wants the other to make a special dish. But most of the time, we're both clueless. This conversation then quickly becomes derailed because we're both trying to be considerate and really don't know what we want.

FS: So, what do you want to do for dinner?
ME: I dunno. What sounds good?
FS: I dunno. Had sushi for lunch, so not really up for that.
ME: Ok, but what sounds good?
FS: What sounds good to you?
ME: Nothing, really, but I should eat something.
FS: Yes, you should. So what do you want to eat?
ME: I don't know, I'll eat anything!
FS: So will I, what are you hungry for??
ME: Food!

It only spirals down from there. The thing is, I love steak. But since I moved, there's no longer a Texas Roadhouse near our house, and the other steak places nearby are only so-so, so I don't like saying 'Steak!' every time because I know he likes more variety. I could totally do Roadhouse every night because I fucking love their steaks, but I don't like being selfish, so I don't suggest it too often. So, inevitably, the conversation steers in another direction.

FS: Do you want to go to the store and we'll cook something tonight?

Our kitchen is covered in dirty dishes because it's my turn to load the dishwasher and I've been sick. And lazy. And I don't want to clean the kitchen, cook, and clean it again. But cooking at home saves money, so we really should be responsible adults, right?

ME: We could. What do you want to cook?
FS: I dunno. What sounds good?
ME: I dunno, what do we have in the fridge?
FS: Not much, but we could hit the grocery store.
ME: So, what do you want to get at the store?
FS: I dunno, what sounds good?

At this point, we're just going in circles, like those vultures from Jungle Book. We could (and sometimes do) pull a random recipe out and use that, but most of the time we just go back and forth until one of us names a restaurant. The other will say "Sounds good!" and we go eat. We seem to be making a habit of this inefficiency, caused by each of us trying to be considerate. But we do get eventually get food, and we inevitably enjoy it, despite the thirty minutes of going back and forth. Then we get home.
ME: So, what do you want to watch tonight?
FS: I dunno, what sounds good?

06/01/11 11:55, by , Categories: dubird.net , Tags: , ,

Finding a voice

One of the things that prompts me to do this as a regular blog is reading other people's blogs. Be they funny, informative, useful or just darn entertaining. I read stuff and think 'Yeah, I could write too.' After all, in high school, I did a lot of creative writing and did pretty good at it. Of course I look at those stories now and cringe because the writing is so.....high school. But hey, I had ideas and got decently well at expressing them.

However, that seems to be something I have lost as time went by. I dabbled in fanfiction for a time, and even that got pushed aside for other interests. I still have things to say, but the skills to say them have degraded a bit as time rolls on. So I've tried playing with various posts of my own, usually after getting inspired from someone else's blog, and seeing where that leads. Unfortunatly, it leads to making posts in the style of the person I'm inspired by. I may have something to say, but it ends up being filtered through a different voice. Nothing I've been writing (except for the occasional personal post) sounds like me.

But on the other hand, if I spend all my time doubting what I write, nothing will ever get posted. All the styles that my writing gets filtered through at this point are all parts of me as well, even if they aren't quite my voice yet. I just need to find a way to pull out those parts that are me and polish them. So this blog will be experimental for a while. If I make a post and you like it, tell me. If I make a post and you don't, tell me that too. I'm not going to tailor my writing to make people happy, but if something does or doesn't work, I'm not always the best person to judge. So having outside opinions is helpful.

I may be posting funny or helpful or angry posts, but above all, I'm going for entertaining.
05/24/11 11:54, by , Categories: dubird.net , Tags: , ,