02/15/12

That's what you get

There's something strangely satisfying about vehicular justice.

The other day as I drove home, the tollway I take had a wreck and I decided to get off early. Of course, that meant crossing two more lanes of traffic from the highway below, so it took me a good 30 minutes to do so because some drivers are assholes and won't let ANYONE merge, even in the case of traffic at a stop because of a wreck. *ahem* Anyhoo, the offramp I exited on merges briefly with the access road, then turns back into an onramp. The strip between the ramp and the tollway is a large, grassy median. As I was trying to merge onto the correct lane on the access road, I happened to look over and saw a silver car that had tried to cross the grassy strip right before the ramp splits back off. But apparently, he forgot he was driving a low sports car, and had high-centered it on the curb. His front tires didn't reach the road, and since it ground was damp, he couldn't get traction with his rear tires to get over the curb.

The sight of an impatient asshole who went off road and tried to cut in front of the line of cars and got stuck totally made my day.
02/15/12 10:57, by , Categories: dubird.net, blog , Tags: ,
01/11/12

Lost posts

If you're just tuning in, I have lost a year's worth of posts. I am not happy. I'm trying to work with my host to find them, or see if did back up some of them, but the outlook is bleak. Just letting you know that I'm not dead, the site is still live, just messed up right now.

Edit: Hooray, LJ crossposting! If I can't get the database back, I can at least recover the actual posted posts. I can't get back my drafts and ideas, but at least I can recover most of the content.

Edit #2: Yeah, no go on the database recovery. This is as good as it gets. So, I'm going to spend the next few days recreating the posts that got transfered to LJ. At least the layout is back up! ^_^;

Edit #3: And it's back! Layout tweaks fixed, posts readded, all is almost well. Except now I want to do a new layout. Curse you, design bug!
01/11/12 15:44, by , Categories: dubird.net , Tags:
12/05/11

Gifting

I look forward to two gifts every Christmas. One is a gift card for Barnes & Noble or Amazon because I LOVE to read and since I'm constantly buying my own books, my mom never knows which ones to buy. The second is a gift card to JC Penny's. Not because I need a new wardrobe or anything (though I usually do need new jeans by that point). No, actually both of those gift cards are only an excuse. We basically then pick a day where she can take off work and then go spend the day together. We drive over to the bigger city that has a mall and walk around, do a little shopping, grab some food, and just hang out. She actually started this a few years ago when I was trying to pick out an adult wardrobe. You know, something besides jeans and t-shirts. I had asked for her help because I rather suck at clothes shopping and I know she has good taste. I wasn't expecting anything other than the trip, but she handed me the gift card on Christmas day and said "Ok, let's pick a day where we can go over there and I'll help you pick out some shirts." We did, we had a blast, and we've done that ever since.

I know some people look down on gift cards as 'impersonal' and lazy, but I never have. I would rather give someone an open gift to a store I know they'll enjoy going to and picking something out they want or need instead of a single gift that they may or may not like or use. And while I have a few gifts picked out, most of them are going to be getting gift cards, especially if I know they'll need some things from a specific store (like Babys'R'Us for my sister who just had her second child, or a nice dinner for two so they can get out of the house for a special night). To me, a gift card is just as much a gift of time than money or items (provided you can get one that doesn't expire). If someone doesn't like shopping, they can just go online, pick what they want, and get it shipped. But I know a lot of people like to spend time looking over items and walking around shopping places with friends or family, and this gives them a excuse to have a fun afternoon. So if you want to give out gift cards, do so guilt-free. Most of us will be very happy with it.
12/05/11 12:12, by , Categories: dubird.net, blog , Tags: , , , ,
10/05/11

I just realized something...

And I feel like an idiot for just now realizing it, too. Twilight is the teenage version of the Harlequin Romance novels.

Yes, I have read a few of the Harlequin novels. As a teen no less, because when you really want something read, you read what's available. I will say my mom didn't leave what I suspect were the really racy ones out where I could read them, but even just the mystery versions had plenty of 'romance' (and I use that term loosely) in them. I will also confess that I never finished Twilight. I think I made it through the first chapter and felt brain cells dying, so I gave up on it. So I never really climbed on the anti-Twilight bandwagon, though what I did read and the Sinus Show riffing of the movie are enough to make me weep that it's considered literature. But I ran across a hilarious review that has nice list of various things as well as actual quotes. And reading through that gave me flashbacks to some of the Harlequin novels that I read.

For example:
- In a Harlequin Romance novel, a woman meets a man, is entranced by his sexy/beautiful/wondrous body, falls in love, is rescued somehow, has sex, there is some conflict separating them but he finds her and they live happily ever after.
- In Twilight, girl meets boy, is entranced by his beautiful/sparkly body, falls in love, is rescued somehow, don't know if they have sex in the first book but I'm sure they eventually do since she becomes pregnant, there is conflict separating them and putting her in danger (multiple times since it's a series of books), he finds/rescues her, and they probably live happily ever after. Eventually.

I am no longer surprised and annoyed that so many housewives just love this series. I guess the whole vampire part gives the same 'romance' story a new flavor they were missing, as well as it being a story with sequels. It does make me sad that this inane drivel is considered literature, but there's not really anything I can do about it except write my own 'romance' series. And let's face it, I'd be too busy laughing at the genre to take it seriously. My herone would be some alien in human form and the hero not only has to resuce her, but then have kinky alien sex where the holes are in the wrong places and she gets confused and things end up where they shouldn't.

And that's terrible.
10/05/11 12:11, by , Categories: dubird.net , Tags: , ,
09/22/11

Brake Lights

So, driving to work this morning in rush hour, I realized that no two people use their brakes the same way. Some slam them on at the last minute, and some ride them for miles. But just having one set of brake lights doesn't really help. So I propose a new set of brake lights, which will activate different lights based on how hard you're pushing your brake pedal.

1. Maximum Space - "I must maintain the exact space between myself and the car in front of me, down to the last inch, so I will tap my brakes multiple times to adjust."


2. Slow Stop - "Just going to ease to a stop across twice the distance I need to give the illusion that I'm still making good time by actually moving."


3. Regular Stop - Your standard, normal stopping power.


4. Extra Stop - "Ok, need to actually stop faster than I thought, sorry about that!"


5. Oh Shit - "I'm slamming on the brakes at the last possible second or some asshat is cutting me off! OH GOD, PLEASE STOP!!"
09/22/11 12:10, by , Categories: dubird.net , Tags: ,