You know, I honestly have no idea how many people actually SEE these posts. My guess is zero, but you never know, there may be some random person with nothing better to do visiting from time to time saying "why the hell doesn't she post more Dear Customers!!" I do link posts I do to Twitter and sometimes Facebook, which has gathered me a few comments. But I've yet to do something I consider a really good post. I tried, and I've written some that were fun and still amuse me. But most of what I've done has pretty much fallen flat. And I'm ok with that, honestly. I'm just doing this for fun, not to try and feel important or whatever. I hesitate to call this a 'blog', though. I guess TECHNICALLY it is, but this is mostly a place I can jot down ideas, occasional game reviews and random shit, not a serious blog with actual well-written posts. *If you want that, check the sidebar, there's some good ones there* But I find myself wondering why I'm keeping this as a blog. I could convert this back to a random static page site again. It would relieve me of the pressure of constructing posts, which would make me feel less guilty about it. After all, back in 1996 there weren't really any blogs and having a personal website was a BIG DEAL and you were considered tech-savvy if you had one! Now, though, it seems that if you don't have a witty or informative blog, you shouldn't bother. Even fan sites are dying out, which I find kinda sad. I met some neat people through the gwg, and despite it not being popular anymore, I'm still determined to keep it online! But again, that's not a blog type site. It was never meant to be, and it never will be. I'm not going to force that kind of change on a site that is clearly not appropriate for it!
So why do I keep it up for this site? I think part is the desire to connect to people. Just because I'm an introvert doesn't mean I don't want any social contact. In fact, online social contact is easier for me to deal with. *don't have to feel bad that I can't look people in the eye!* Despite the fact that I'm horrible at keeping in touch with people, I still try to connect. I think all of us need some kind of interpersonal connections in their lives; we are social creatures after all. And since I'm really bad at it in real life, online seems to be a better method for me.
Another part of it is that I do actually want to write, but rather suck at it so this is a way to try and improve. You know, when I get around to actually POSTING something! I have ideas; in fact, I have a draft here of parts of posts that I've never been able to articulate and finish. *though I keep hoping I will!* I've tried different approaches, but it occurred to me that I was trying to copy someone else's style and that never works. I need to find my own voice, something I have always had trouble with. A personal blog is supposed to be a way for me to do so, but so far I've had no luck.
So, does that mean future posts will all be thoughtful, well-written posts? Fuck no, you really don't know me at all, do you? But I have found myself working on some random ideas that are mostly serious, so I'll throw those out from time to time. And I will still do Dear Customers because even though I don't work at a print shop anymore *and thus, have lots of different customers*, I still have to deal with people at work that say or do things that make me feel like banging my head on the desk. But I will do my best to throw in longer posts from time to time and see how that goes. I can't promise what they'll be, but as I've said in the past, I'm just going for entertaining. Even if the 'entertaining' part is me being an idiot. After all, this is my take on 'hey, look at me!'. One I like better because people aren't actually LOOKING at me! XD