06/15/11

The Force will be with you....for the low price of $99.95!

Finished Force Unleashed 2 last night, and yeah, I was disappointed in it being as short as it was. I needed more lightening deaths, dammit! Still, it was fun and as always, the little voice of my imagination started jabbering at me.

Actually, let me clarify that. I have an active imagination. Active to the point that when I really enjoy a book or show, it comes up with random 'what if' scenarios for me. As in, what if I personally ended up in that situation or place. It's silly but harmless, and tends to keep me entertained on the commute to work. Anything Star Wars makes me wonder what kind of Jedi I would be. The answer? A really crappy one.

Forget about the fact that, while I'm not fat, I'm not really in good shape and even after I manage to bitch-slap my lungs into working right, I'll never be athletic. Or coordinated. Or graceful. Let's face it, I'm lucky I don't stumble down the hallway more often than I do. But lets just assume that I'm in good enough physical shape to be able to take on the challenge of becoming a Jedi. I'd be the kind of person that would throw myself into learning how to use a lightsaber, too. Not because it's elegant or 'civilized' (really, Obi-wan? You're going to go with that?). No, it's because slicing down my enemies with a sword made of pure light is fucking BAD ASS! I'd be quoting more Samuel L. Jackson and Bruce Willis than a internet meme. But that's not the reason.

I just couldn't resist being a smartass for very long.

Seriously. While playing FU2, I kept talking to the game because they characters would just have weird lines that I simply had to bitch at. Plus Starkiller must be going through a second puberty or something, as much as his voice breaks, which led to even more comments. It's probably a good thing I was the only one in the house. But it's not just mouthing off to the game that I'm playing. Jedi just seem to have a giant stick up their asses all the time, and I just couldn't resist the urge to be a sarcastic bitch for too long. Take some random Star Wars quotes:

Darth Vader: Asteroids do not concern me, Admiral. I want that ship, not excuses.
D: You'll want that ship a lot less if we get hit by a fucking asteroid.

Yoda: You must unlearn what you have learned.
D: What, and waste 6 years of college? I still have student loans to pay off!

Obi-Wan: You can't win, but there are alternatives to fighting.
D: I don't think they'll be up for a rousing game of Uno.

Yeah, I know, not exactly award winning comebacks. But you get my drift. After all, what's the point of being a powerful protector of the galaxy and all if you can't have fun while doing it?
06/15/11 11:57, by , Categories: dubird.net , Tags: , , , , ,