I just realized something...

And I feel like an idiot for just now realizing it, too. Twilight is the teenage version of the Harlequin Romance novels.

Yes, I have read a few of the Harlequin novels. As a teen no less, because when you really want something read, you read what's available. I will say my mom didn't leave what I suspect were the really racy ones out where I could read them, but even just the mystery versions had plenty of 'romance' (and I use that term loosely) in them. I will also confess that I never finished Twilight. I think I made it through the first chapter and felt brain cells dying, so I gave up on it. So I never really climbed on the anti-Twilight bandwagon, though what I did read and the Sinus Show riffing of the movie are enough to make me weep that it's considered literature. But I ran across a hilarious review that has nice list of various things as well as actual quotes. And reading through that gave me flashbacks to some of the Harlequin novels that I read.

For example:
- In a Harlequin Romance novel, a woman meets a man, is entranced by his sexy/beautiful/wondrous body, falls in love, is rescued somehow, has sex, there is some conflict separating them but he finds her and they live happily ever after.
- In Twilight, girl meets boy, is entranced by his beautiful/sparkly body, falls in love, is rescued somehow, don't know if they have sex in the first book but I'm sure they eventually do since she becomes pregnant, there is conflict separating them and putting her in danger (multiple times since it's a series of books), he finds/rescues her, and they probably live happily ever after. Eventually.

I am no longer surprised and annoyed that so many housewives just love this series. I guess the whole vampire part gives the same 'romance' story a new flavor they were missing, as well as it being a story with sequels. It does make me sad that this inane drivel is considered literature, but there's not really anything I can do about it except write my own 'romance' series. And let's face it, I'd be too busy laughing at the genre to take it seriously. My herone would be some alien in human form and the hero not only has to resuce her, but then have kinky alien sex where the holes are in the wrong places and she gets confused and things end up where they shouldn't.

And that's terrible.
10/05/11 12:11, by , Categories: dubird.net , Tags: , ,